teenage pregnancy

“so i had been feeling bloated for a few weeks and had these weird cravings and was eating everything in sight, strange things. some mornings i would wake up feeling nauseous and others, not so much. i couldn’t focus, i was anxious and irritable all the time. then it dawned on me, could i be pregnant? i began to panic and my thoughts were racing about how this would affect my life. what in the world have i done? we only had unprotected sex once, we just got caught up. so i took a pregnancy test which was positive and went to our family doctor who confirmed it. what in the world am i going to do with a baby - i’m only 15 years old.”

how many times have we heard this story? how would you handle if it were your teenage daughter, grand-daughter, niece or sister? it is estimated that nearly 4 out of 10 girls will become pregnant at least once before she turns age 20; the USA has the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the world. teenagers are having babies at an alarming rate, as if it’s a new fashion trend, a badge of honor even.

sex before marriage is fornication, it is against the teachings of the bible. so where are our teenagers picking up these habits – well from our mothers (and fathers), ofcourse. we as a culture have embraced sexual immorality and fornication (which also translates to shacking up, living together, having sex before marriage, and adultery) so it should be no surprise that our children are confused. why would a teenager not have sex when they’re living in the house with their mom and her boyfriend or their dad and his girlfriend…having sex before marriage cant be wrong, mama and daddy do it all the time. the bible tells us to “abstain from all appearance of evil. and the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23.

“i was 19 at the time and i had just found out i was pregnant. my boyfriend and father of my baby ended up leaving while i was six months pregnant and still doesn't want contact with our son. i was young, fun loving, loved to go out and party a little while and just starting college. i was working part time as a personal assistant and looking to go overseas and travel. the future looked bright for me until i fell pregnant.”

yep things are always great in a dating relationship until you become pregnant. the guy seems like “the one.” you have a special connection, he just loves everything about you, wants to spend every moment just smiling in your face and then it happens. you say those three little words, “i am pregnant.” watch him run out the door faster than you can say the words, “i’m now a statistic” as he renounces you and the baby you’re carrying. most often the teenage boys have no interest in marriage or fatherhood and are not held accountable, so the pregnant mother is left abandoned to care for the child on her own.

“i found out I was pregnant when I was 17. i was a senior in high school. when i first found out i was with some friends and my boyfriend. we had been together already for three years. anyway, when I found out, I thought my world was over. i sat and cried on my best friend's shoulder for about an hour. i guess my dreams are gonna have to wait.”

oftentimes when teenage girls become pregnant, their dreams are deferred or downright denied. their hopes of achieving great professional accomplishments become dashed. statistically they don’t finish high school, let alone attend college. becoming a pregnant teen can result in serious education and social problems for both the mother and father. their carefree single life ceases to exist. there is no more time for partying with friends or hanging out at the mall, or catching a movie with a girlfriend or taking a relaxing vacation. instead, their time is spent changing diapers, finding daycare, working 2 and 3 jobs to support themselves and their babies. why would a teenager sign up for these calamities? do they lack self worth, self confidence or self acceptance or do they just lack self control?

“she came to the center seeking an abortion. she had recently moved to our community to live with her boyfriend and she had no support systems. her boyfriend had become abusive and she had spent the night in a shelter. she looked so weary, her only words were a repeated request for an abortion. at the center, she was told what an abortion would entail, and she agreed to an ultrasound. she openly expressed hope that it was not a viable pregnancy. she remained resolute regarding the abortion and felt it was the only answer for her. she agreed to a second ultrasound, but did not show up at her appointed time. when she did not return my calls, i anticipated the worst.”

the subject of abortion is one that has created much debate. rather you are “pro-choice” or “pro-life” the one thing that cannot be disputed is that choosing life (giving birth) or choosing death (abortion) can dramatically impact your life. each has its own set of circumstances and everyone has their own opinions on the subject, pregnant women, clinicians, politicians and spiritual leaders. but what really matters is what the bible teaches about abortion. it is a sin.

if you are a young woman currently faced with a decision about an unplanned pregnancy, please know that there are options. make an informed decision and do not choose it hastily. seek advice and counsel from a trusted source (parents, school counselors, crisis centers, spiritual advisors).

do not be bound by your sins for all have sinned and fallen short and no one who walks the earth is perfect. in your sin you must seek forgiveness from God and change your values and principles. God hates sin but He loves the sinner. if you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart God will hear your cry, heal your hurts and bring you out of your dark situation. God has a plan for you – believe that.

“Do not judge and criticize and condemn others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned yourselves. “For just as you judge and criticize and condemn others, you will be judged and criticized and condemned, and in accordance with the measure you [use to] deal out to others, it will be dealt out again to you.” Matthew 7:1-2

if you have had an abortion in your past, that’s where it is, in your past. do not allow your past guilt and sins to condemn you. just as with any other sin, if you ask God’s forgiveness, He will forgive you. that’s one of the great things about God, He forgives and forgets. ”Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.” Isaiah 43:18

teenagers need our love, support and encouragement. we should keep the lines of communication “gapped wide open” and teach them what the bible instructs about pre-marital sex. we should encourage them to abstain from sex until marriage. but we cant stick our heads in the sand either and pretend that the statistics aren’t real. as difficult as the conversation may be, if our teenagers are determined to be disobedient to the word of God and not abstain from sex, then we should have a discussion about prevention.

note: the personal stories illustrated in this blog represent real teenagers and are excerpts as submitted from pregnancy centers.

sound off...